Transitions

I'm at a strange point in my life where I seem to have been caught in between two life stages: college and the real world. I graduated in December, but right now I'm just working until I begin my student teaching in the fall. (My university's student teaching program is a full year that happens after graduation and the achievement of a bachelor's degree.) I'm in a state of liminality. Liminality is the uncomfortable condition of being caught betwixt and between (as discussed in Victor Turner's The Anthropology of Performance).

While I do often feel uncomfortable about this situation in which I seem to not be moving forward, I also want to enjoy it. First of all, as a future teacher, this is one of the few periods in my life where I will not have to be constantly working and planning. Also, this is my last chance to spend time with college friends. There have been a lot more opportunities presenting themselves to just have fun, like concerts and other once-in-a-lifetime type of events. Yet, I always go back to thinking about the future. Where will I be 2 years from now? Will I be teaching in another state? Will I get a chance to travel? Will I be dating?

During my freshman year of college, I wrote an essay that compared a refugee's memoir with my own experiences of feeling "displaced." It is a strange thing to go back to that essay about how I no longer felt at home anywhere and realize that I've changed so much since then. For one, I do feel at home at MSU: the university has been the center of my life for almost 5 years. I wrote in the essay (entitled "Nowhere") that "I have yet to discover where exactly my heart lies, because I am in the middle of two places. My home is “now here” and “nowhere” at the same time." I am about to enter this physical liminality soon, while now I am still dealing with a metaphysical liminality, or a temporal liminality as it were. Yet, God comforts me.

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. -Luke 12:27-31