Education is Life

I've been a substitute teacher for about four months now. I thought that maybe this experience would've changed me more than it has, but I still feel like the same person with the same teaching philosophy. I've come to respect teachers more now, and substitute teachers especially. Yet, I don't think I've learned a large overarching lesson about classroom management or anything like that. The tactics that subs have to use are very different from those that regular teachers use. Reading Teaching with Love and Logic as at least shown me that. More than ever, I know that building working relationships with students is key if you want to manage a classroom and, more importantly, become a true influence in their lives.

There have been a few great moments in which I've connected with a student or realized that all of this is worth it because I'm on my way to becoming a real teacher. One of those moments was today, when I got to work with some students one-on-one and in small reading groups. They were third and fourth grade special education kids, and while I don't want to be an elementary school teacher or a special education teacher, I realized today why I want to be a teacher. I love working with students, pointing them in the right direction, and watching them learn. Those are the teaching moments that I value and they are the moments that I don't get as a substitute teacher.

Here is an excerpt from my pedagogic creed that I wrote for the College of Education:

What I believe about teaching and education has a lot to do with what I believe about life. I believe that there is more to life than going to work, making money, and paying taxes. In the same way, I believe that there is more to education than getting good grades, graduating, and getting a good job. John Dewey, an educational reformer in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century wrote, “Education is not a preparation for life; education is life itself.” I agree with Dewey: education is not merely a means to an end – that end being either good grades or a good job. Education is a life style. I am constantly learning and gathering information throughout my daily life, my education is my life.

Wanderlust

Wanderlust, according to Wikipedia, is a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world.

I have had such a strong feeling of wanderlust recently, I feel as if I've been bitten by the travel bug. I just want to get out and see the world. Maybe it's because I'm used to travelling all over the state, and this past year or so I've been forced (financially, that is) to stay put. My dream would be to win the lottery and spend all of that money (after paying off student loans and college debt) on travelling the world. I want to go everywhere and see everything. Road tripping across the U.S., backpacking across Europe, hiking through a rain forest, climbing the Great Wall, etc. etc. etc.

A couple friends and I have made a bargain: in two to five years, once we are done with school and have a stable income, we are going on a backpacking trip across Europe. I'm so keen on the idea that I've already started mapping out itineraries (which city/country when and in which order) and looking at which hostels or hotels would suit us best. This is going to happen, I can't be tied down.

When I really think about it, though, this desire to travel is kind of strange. I've always been a homebody, and even though I've taken many many short trips to places across the state and throughout the country, I'm always happy to sleep in my own bed when the excitement of travelling is over. In fact, my longest period of travelling was when I studied abroad in France for two months in the summer of 2009. It was a great experience, but after about 4 to 5 weeks, I started getting very homesick. My reflections on this experience have brought me to conclude that if I were to travel for long periods of time, I would need to do it with someone I was close to: someone I consider family. And even though there are several people I know who also love travelling, it all comes down to money. Which always brings my thoughts back to the lottery. If I won the lottery, I would spend it all on travelling around the world...

I Want to...

- Sip some tea in London

- Leave flowers at J.R.R. Tolkien's tombstone in Oxford

- Celebrate St. Patrick's Day in Ireland

- Picnic in Paris in the spring

- Celebrate New Year's Eve in NYC

- Ride a gondola in Venice

- Make a wish at the Trevi fountain in Rome

- Bike along the Loire River in France

- Mourn the Holocaust at Auschwitz in Poland

- Hear my voice echo in the Grand Canyon

- Walk along the Great Wall of China

- See where they filmed the Lord of the Rings in New Zealand

- Go on a cruise in the Caribbean or the Mediterranean

- Climb to the top of the Acropolis in Athens

- See what steak really tastes like Down Under

- Learn how to surf in Hawaii

- Road trip out west and see the United States' greatest national parks

Addiction

Addiction (noun): the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, such as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. (From dictionary.com)

I've never had a substance addiction (other than a slight one to caffeine that affects the typical college student). However, I do know that "addictions" and obsessions are dangerous in my life. Usually it revolves around some movie, TV show, or other pop culture phenomena. My latest addiction: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I know what you're thinking right now: "Wait, you're addicted to a television show that has been over for 7 years?" The truth is, yes, I am. Well, was up until I finished the seventh and final season of Buffy yesterday. The source of this problem is two-fold: too much time on my hands since I don't have studying to do and Netflix Instant. All seven season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are available instantly on Netflix, and what has made it easier has been the Roku player that allows me to now watch these instant movies on my TV.

Now don't get me wrong, I've thoroughly enjoyed the 100 or so hours I've spent with Buffy, Giles, Willow, Xander, and the rest of the Scoobies. However, within the past two days alone, I watched the entire seventh season of this show. This equates to having accomplished and done almost nothing else. What do I have to show for it? An ability to connect to people over an old cult classic? Perhaps. More immediate effects have been strange dreams about super strength fighting skills and sexy, non-sparkling vampires. Also, I have a feeling that during the next week I will be going through Buffy withdrawal, and adding "y" to just about any word to make it an adjective.

All in all, I know that I have spent too much time watching Buffy on Netflix. Maybe it could have been better if it was more spread out and I didn't watch 5+ episodes in one day. All that I know now is that I have more time to be more productive. More time to practice French for my oral exam on Friday, more time with God in the Word and in prayer, more time to spend getting to know people better and building into their lives.

And also time to get addicted to a new television show...

In my lifetime...

Inspired by a vlog from Kristina Horner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_ufhex2AsI.

In my lifetime, I want to:

1. Write a book and get it published.

2. Be fluent in French.

3. Learn a third language.

4. Visit six of the seven continents.

5. Go on a missions trip (at least a short-term one).

6. Live in a state other than Michigan, at least for a little while.

7. Write my own recipes and compile them into my own cookbook.

8. Be a a part of seeing someone come to Christ, discipling them, and seeing them disciple others.

9. Get a Masters and a PhD.

10. Make a difference in students' lives.

Transitions

I'm at a strange point in my life where I seem to have been caught in between two life stages: college and the real world. I graduated in December, but right now I'm just working until I begin my student teaching in the fall. (My university's student teaching program is a full year that happens after graduation and the achievement of a bachelor's degree.) I'm in a state of liminality. Liminality is the uncomfortable condition of being caught betwixt and between (as discussed in Victor Turner's The Anthropology of Performance).

While I do often feel uncomfortable about this situation in which I seem to not be moving forward, I also want to enjoy it. First of all, as a future teacher, this is one of the few periods in my life where I will not have to be constantly working and planning. Also, this is my last chance to spend time with college friends. There have been a lot more opportunities presenting themselves to just have fun, like concerts and other once-in-a-lifetime type of events. Yet, I always go back to thinking about the future. Where will I be 2 years from now? Will I be teaching in another state? Will I get a chance to travel? Will I be dating?

During my freshman year of college, I wrote an essay that compared a refugee's memoir with my own experiences of feeling "displaced." It is a strange thing to go back to that essay about how I no longer felt at home anywhere and realize that I've changed so much since then. For one, I do feel at home at MSU: the university has been the center of my life for almost 5 years. I wrote in the essay (entitled "Nowhere") that "I have yet to discover where exactly my heart lies, because I am in the middle of two places. My home is “now here” and “nowhere” at the same time." I am about to enter this physical liminality soon, while now I am still dealing with a metaphysical liminality, or a temporal liminality as it were. Yet, God comforts me.

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. -Luke 12:27-31

Keeping up with promises

On January 1st, I wrote that I would update this blog once a week...
...so much for that.

I've thought a lot about why resloultions can be so difficult. It's all about self-discipline and staying accountable to yourself, something that I find is the hardest thing to do. Staying accountable to another person is easier: the consequences for failing someone else seem so much more dire. It's not just about dissapointing yourself anymore, it's about dissapointing them. When you are held accountable by someone else, be it a friend, a parent, a teacher, or anyone, you must confess to them when you mess up or, even easier for you, they notice right away when you slip up. A teacher will notice if you start failing their class and a parent will notice if you break one of their rules. There are immediate consequences for this, as well as the dissapointment that the other person has in your short comings. This has often kept me more accountable. If I have to report to someone else about a resolution to do something, then I tend to stick to that resolution more than if I just keep it for myself. I keep my promises to others much more easily than I do to myself.

If I fail myself, I try to excuse it: I didn't follow through because of this reason or that reason. I didn't excercise today because I was too busy, stressed, tired, not feeling well, etc. Excuses to myself seem a lot more plausable than excuses to others.

This reminds me that God never fails in his promises.
"God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" -Numbers 23:19

"Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does." -Psalm 145:13

A New Year

Heading into this new year is going to bring a lot of firsts for me. Yes, every new year brings new experiences into one's life, this is true for everyone. But as I look forward to the next year I look into unchartered waters. This will be the first year where I won't be a college student. For the first eight months of 2011, I will be a normal, working adult. It's really a frightening thought while at the same time being terribly exciting. The next year ahead will be a year of firsts, a year of completely new experiences. I have little or no precedent for these experiences. Although it is frightening, like I said, I'm looking at this new year with a new hope and a bright outlook. I refuse to worry about the things that I cannot control; I give it all to God and choose to follow Him as He chooses my path for this year.

With that in mind, here are my goals for this year, a sort of bucket list, if you will: things I want to do before 2011 kicks the bucket.
1. Write a book. Not necessarily finish it, but at least get a good draft done by the end of the year.
2. Update this blog at least once a week. I meant to do this when I started the blog. However, things like school and life got in the way. I've kept some sort of journal or blog of my thoughts for the greater part of my life, and I really hope to continue that so that I can continue to improve my writing skills.
3. Keep up with my cooking blog. http://www.nikkiinthekitchen.blogspot.com/
4. Keep in touch with friends better. As we grow older and start graduating college, we continue to get more and more seperated. I really do want to keep in touch with people better. Especially Megan, who is in Cameroon. Check out her blog: http://www.wouldbewritten.blogspot.com/
5. Dig deeper into the Word. I spent most of last year reading through parts of the Old Testament. It has been a great exploration that has truly strengthened my faith. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year through the revelation of Scripture.
6. Be healthier. I suppose the ultimate goal of this would be to lose weight, but that just sounds so cliche. All I really want to do is feel better about my body image, and shed that extra Freshman 15+ that I've gained through college. This begins with what I cook and Pilates/Yoga.